Today is no different than any other day. I just sent an email to my son's teachers. He is missing a lot of class lately due to his blood sugars. It is frustrating. What's more frustrating is I cannot really fix it. I just hate that. And even more frustrating is that I am still struggling with completely relying on God for my strength. Really, Paige? After four years of Red having diabetes you are still struggling with just "letting go and letting God"? I told my sweet husband today "i need you to pray for me today. i am trying to feel defeated. i know i am not, but there is a big part of me that wants to collapse in the floor and sob like a baby for my boy... i am fiercely holding it together so as not to give the enemy a foothold". His response was short and rich with wisdom, it usually always is. He said to me "i will ... just remember this though ... the enemy only gets a foothold where you let him ... it make
I had an epiphany a few weeks ago. It just hit me out of the blue while driving down the road. The Kübler-Ross stages of grief and the fact that if you have a child with a chronic illness you never complete the cycle. The theory behind the stages of grief is that a person will usually cycle through the stages during a time of intense grief, maybe even visiting some more than once, and eventually coming to the acceptance stage where the cycle will end. As a nurse, we are taught about the stages and how the normal human psyche responds in each stage. We are taught how to deal with patients and their families in each stage, how to help them cope and move through the stages until they reach the acceptance stage. My nursing education did not prepare me for having a child with a chronic illness. I have found myself in all of the stages, over and over, for four years. Here are the stages: Denial - even now, when my son has many days in a row of almost perfect days my heart say