11/2/12

Breathing In...

Today is no different than any other day. I just sent an email to my son's teachers. He is missing a lot of class lately due to his blood sugars. It is frustrating. What's more frustrating is I cannot really fix it. I just hate that. And even more frustrating is that  I am still struggling with completely relying on God for my strength. Really, Paige? After four years of Red having diabetes you are still struggling with just "letting go and letting God"? I told my sweet husband today

              "i need you to pray for me today. i am trying to feel defeated. i know i am not, but there
 is a big part of me that wants to collapse in the floor and sob like a baby for my boy...
 i am fiercely holding it together so as not to give the enemy a foothold".

His response was short and rich with wisdom, it usually always is. He said to me

   "i will ... just remember this though ... the enemy only gets a foothold where you let him ... 
it makes no matter whether he sees you cry or not ... plenty of examples in the bible 
of "come aparts" that were certainly warranted that did not give the devil any kind of hold ...
 you cannot be afraid to show emotion ... even sorrow ... David had fits of crazy laying in the floor crying all the time ... i love you"

Truth. Obedience and trust can be so difficult at times. I just want to be found faithful before God. And I worry so much that I am not "good enough" in this area. Thankful for God's grace. Breathing it in right now...every breath...in and out....

Paige


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